A Daddy’s Love…

 

 What an amazing feeling it is to know that my daughter has the best Daddy in the whole world! It’s so comforting to know that she will feel loved and accepted by a man her whole life, that no matter what choices she may choose he will always love her and be there for her!

Looking back to my childhood, I missed out on this kind of love. I always wanted to be a Daddy’s girl. One that got to wear the t-shirt, make the chocolate chip pancakes for the banquet and go to the Father – Daughter dance. I always wanted to be able to run to my Daddy and be assured that in his arms was the safest place on earth. To be able to bring anything to the table and know my answer or guidance would be with great wisdom and love.

I know that I have always been loved by my “real” Dad, he says to this day that I’m his little girl. But the reality is, that little girl is not little anymore. That his addictions and hurt has paved twenty years away. I really feel for him at times, because he doesn’t even have a glimpse of what a wonderful life of which he could have been a part.

My Step Dad loved and cared for me as well, he did his very best to provide and raise me. Was it the very best? No, but it was his best. He has a lot of great qualities and has taught me many lessons about life.  But he as well came from a broken past and unfortunately couldn’t leave it there. He couldn’t grasp on to the goodness of God, that ultimately God does have plan A for his life and that he can be whole. I know we all have been broken at times and hurt beyond belief, but there comes a time where you really have to let go and really forgive.

I am so fortunate that I learned how to let go at such an early age. I knew my “real” Dad was sick and I released him from my life when I was ten. It wasn’t an easy choice, but I feel it was the best I could have made. In the last seventeen years I’ve had contact with him three times and I’m proud to say that in every conversation I’ve told him that I love him and that I forgave him. I’ve also told him that when he gets his life together I’d love to start over…it’s now been seven years since I’ve spoken to him.

So this post started out with just Juliana and Ryan in mind and then some how got twisted with sappiness! So with all that said, it brings tears to my eyes knowing that my daughter has all she could have dreamed of and more in her Daddy!

Noah’s first day…

    Well thanks to Grandpa Pat and Gramie, Noah is now in pre-school! Noah might seem happy in the picture, but I actually had to bribe him to take this picture. He cried the whole way to school because he didn’t want to go and then cried the whole way home because he didn’t want to leave! When I picked him up the teacher told me he was the best behaved child there….shocking! He followed all the directions and had a happy heart doing so! Why is always for someone else!

Quote of the day…

As Noah sits in my lap, stroaking my face he tells me, “Mom, I love yoooouuuu! You’re the best woman in the whole world. Someday I wish I could marry you!” Now if that doesn’t make you melt I don’t know what would! We have had some challenging times with our son, but times like this make it all worth it!

Don’t just do something…

Have you ever heard the term, Don’t just do something, Stand there!?! Well, if you’re like me, you haven’t. I’ve always heard it the other way around, don’t just stand there, do something…anything! My personality totally leans towards doing something, which could be a great quality. Notice I said “could”. My days are filled, and if there not than I can find ten things to fill them with. Which I’m sure we all could relate. I would like to say I’m good at what I do and at times I can take pride in knowing the job is well done. So with that said, my struggle is this…all my tasks/jobs…do they really matter? Really, does it matter? If you were to ask me if it mattered that my bed was made, I would probably say yes. Why? Because there is a release there knowing my room is clean and it helps me function better. (I know I’m lame) Does it matter my kids are fed, bathed, loved and well cared for…YES! (That’s a no-brainer!) Does it matter that my husband has dinner on the table when he gets home and the house is clean…Yes! Why? Because he’s worked a hard day for our family and he deserves it!

So with all this running around be busy taking care of my family and other responsibilities, I ask myself if I’m missing out. Missing out on the most important factor of my day. Something that will guide and direct me so that I am able to perform my duties to my fullest potential. Taking a step back, being quiet for a moment, and realizing the most important thing in my life, which is God. The Bible says without him, we can do nothing.

I have to admit, making God first in my life is not easy. And I can’t say that I’ve even come close to mastering that. What I do know is that God is always persuing us and inviting us to have a relationship with him if only we would just stop for a moment and be still. So I challenge you to slow down and stand still for a moment!

She’s one…

That’s right, our little Juliana is already one! It’s amazing how fast the time goes, especially with the second child! I’ve tried hard to keep up with all the picture taking, scrapbooking and journaling for Juliana, but I hate to say Lisa was right, the first born has mountains of pictures and all the other kids suffer. But thanks to my Mom and friends our pictures combined add up!